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Malibu Vistas

Sunday, July 02, 2017

NOTE: This ride has been rescheduled from July 23rd as previously published. Time once again for the 7th installment of my annual cycling soap opera: “Malibu Vistas.” The club has a new president named Danny. He fancies himself quite a lady’s man, but most of the members think he’s kind of a jerk. No one is sure how he got elected since he is new to cycling and doesn’t know much about the club or its routes. It’s time for their annual ride in Malibu. Danny asks several women which route they will be riding. They tell him they want to ride the long, thinking he will never be able to do that and they won’t have to ride with him. “Fabulous” he says. “I’ve got a terrific new bike – the best bike ever made – and that should make it easy for me to ride up hills.” So they all take off up Latigo. Danny falls back and they have to wait quite a while for him at the top. When he gets there he says “That was tough – who knew climbing 2000 feet could be hard?”  The route then takes them down Mulholland to the coast and on to Neptune’s Net for lunch. Danny falls back even on the downhill. When he arrives he explains that “I decided to ride ‘off the back.’  Do you know the phrase ‘off the back?’ I just made it up.”  After lunch, the long and medium routes split. The long goes up Yerba Buena while the medium heads back along the coast. Danny knows he can’t do any more big climbs, but hates to admit he’s been beat. He says “I’m going to take the medium route back – it’s much more nicelyer. The long route is for losers.” When the long riders get back to the start, Danny had just come in himself and he is clearly totally exhausted. They laugh at him and tell him next time he should consider riding the short route which simply goes up and down the coast without any major climbs. Danny is pretty upset to hear them make jokes about his riding. “I had better not read anything about today’s ride in the failing club newsletter” he shouted at them. But the joke is on him – the club newslette (Long 64 mi and  7600 ft, Medium 51 mi and 5300 ft, Short 39 mi and 2000 ft.)


Club: Los Angeles Wheelmen click for this clubs Click for Rating

Type: Road  Where: Southern CA

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